I dearly want to contribute to the betterment of society, and am willing to be an apostle of Al Gore, who has championed “tradable energy credits” as a way to make life more sustainable for everyone.  I will march to the garbage heaps of Mount Vesuvious to make such as vision reality.  I will be “Paul”, trekking in my sandals, carrying Uncle Al’s message.

While he is willing to trade the energy usage of his huge home and private jet travel with those who have neither, I want to take to the next level: I propose the institution of “moral” tradable credits.

Under my program we may be able to alleviate all world tensions that stem from different views of religion and morality.  To wit: To make western Europeans feel better about American greed, I can trade my lust for wealth for their 2-month holidays and health care.  Similarly, I’m sure I can trade two martinis a week with Muslims, who disdain drinking alcohol, for a prayer session or two, or at least a carpet to kneel on.  As I gave up smoking, like Mark Twain, 20 minutes ago, perhaps I can exchange my oxygen for a smoker’s cough (oops, I think I should make that vice versa).

And, I think that by utilizing the internet, I can ferret out a Darwinian-secularist who, for just a moment, would trade reason for faith.

Obviously I cannot trade my penchant for flirting with the French, as they appear to have an abundant supply, but perhpaps our more devout citizens would be willing to sit down with me and give me a dose of foregiveness in exchange for a wink or licentious one-liner.  If we cold only outsource, or trade away all flirting, that alone would make the climate cooler — and the world less populated!

Then we’d all be “even-Steven”…with nothing to fight against — or for.

To quote that great American philosopher, Louis Armstrong, “What a wonderful world…” — if only, according to Uncle Al, we (not him) would be willing to trade that which we have for that which he thinks we should have.

Alan Bromley